Sunday, November 4, 2012

On October 26 it was my husbands 38th birthday. I really wanted to do something special for him. You see the past several years have been difficult ones ... financially, relationionally, spitiually & health wise. We've have made it this far but, it has not been easy. In the last three years my husband left his job of 10 years, after dealing with less then ideal circumstances, started his own company & got diagnosied with an auto-immune diease. In the last year he has undergone 5 surgeries proceedures ... one being a major sugery. At one point he had lost over 50lbs & was able to fit into my jeans. I am not trying to cry you a river, but give you a small glimpse into just some of the things we have gone through over the past while.

To say that the last few years have not been difficult would be lying. The toll these kinds of things put on a relationship is not easy. So for Ray's birthday I really wanted him to know what an incredible & amazing man, husband & friend he is. For the 38 days before his birthday I left him a special note that I created & designed to tell him one thing that I loved about him. I also contacted the closest people in his life & asked them to share a thought or message that they would like to share with him & created a printed book from shutterfuly for him. Because we were in a wellness conference on his actual birthday I had planned a surprise dinner for him a few days later. I had his brother come over & sent him on a birthday scavenger hunt to the important places in his life. When he came home many of his friends & family were here waiting to spend a fun time with him.

I am not saying these things to try to brag or for my own glory, but for one reason ... It is often easy in life to get caught up in the negative things of life ... in the things that are not working or the things that your spouse isn't doing that you would wish that they would. It easy to see & picture all the things that are not working right ... to focus on the negative! I have found myself in this cycle so many times ... not because that is where I have wanted to be, but because that is where I have let life take me. I have not lead my journey or my path, but followed the flow of negative thinking & let circumstances be my guide.

So for 38 days I decided to change my focus ... I decided to focus of the positives! The things that I appreciated. To live my life with gratitiude, rather then let negativity flow in & take control. For 38 days I was not only reminded of many of the things that made me fall in love with my husband, but also for the things that I have grown to love about him over the years. It was also a belssing for me to read & hear the things that those cloest to him value & the gifts that they aslo see in him.

I challenge you ... to try a different perspective for a while. Stop looking at the negative & start choosing to see the positive. Start by letting your significant other know the things that you value in them, rather then all the things they are doing wrong. Tell them before it is too late the things that you see as gifts in them ... you may have to start off small, because initially it may be difficult to see those things, but I promise that over time it will become easier. Easch day focus on that one thing & you will be amazed at the difference it will make for not only you , but also for them.

By seeing the positives in life ... it is not only us that gains the benefit, but also those around us. Start each day by focusing on one thing that is good & positive & watch what happens. When those negative thoughts start to creep in don't let it gain speed & power ... stop it dead in it's tracks by refocusing on the one positive thing that you have chosen for that day.  ... it won't happen in one or two days ... but be commited for a period of time regardless of the results ... You'll be amazed at the results over time! You see Ray's birthday gifts ended up being as much for me as they were for him!

Ray's Birthday Dinner

No comments:

Post a Comment