For years I have struggled with low energy issues. No amount of tests and Doctors could determine that anything was wrong with me. I just accepted that this was they way my life would be, after all my mother has struggled with extremely low energy all my life, so why would I be any different? A common thing I heard was people asking me if I was "OK?" or telling me how tired I looked. I HATED it, because it just confirmed the feelings I was already having. Quite frankly it became rather depressing to feel this tired all the time. I made excuses as to why I was so tired ... stress, having 3 young children, poor sleep at nights ... anything that I could blame it on really!
On a Friday in October 2005 I woke up, tired as usual. It was time to get my kids ready for school. I believed I must have had sleep in my eyes because my vision seemed a bit off. I kept blinking trying to clear my vision, nothing seemed to work. At this point my vision wasn't terrible, it just wasn't quite right. I drove my kids the 1/2 hour drive to school ... still blinking trying to make my vision better. Over that weekend my vision continued to get worse. By Sunday morning I couldn't help but feel like something was terribly wrong. I drove myself & my 3 kids down to the eye doctor at the mall. After testing, it was determined I was having an issue with double vision. The Optometrist could not tell me why this was happening & referred me to a Neuro Ophthalmologist. It took two weeks to get in to see her. In the mean time I was suffering from headaches because of the vision problems. I was having difficulty functioning in my day to day life. My parents came to stay with us to help out. This vision problem lasted about 3.5 weeks.
The Neuro Ophthalmologist was the one that first dropped the idea that maybe I was dealing with MS. There is no history of the disease in my family. I really didn't know anything about the disease other than my good friend from University had MS. The Dr.'s advice was to get rid of the stress in my life & start taking care of myself! ... She scheduled me to go for an MRI. Unfortunately living in Canada this can take a long time ... 6 months to be exact! I left her office with lots of questions!
On my way home from that appointment we were in a terrible car accident. This started more issues ... numbness in my arms, hands, legs & feet. My sleep became much worse ... at night I was only sleeping for a couple of hours at a time & then I would wake up from the numbness in my body. The fatigue worsened ... Have you ever been so tired that you just want to cry? ... Well that was me ... in the morning it was all I could do to pull myself together & drag my body out of bed. The exhaustion affected not only how tired I felt, but my mood too.
In the meantime I was referred to a Neurologist at the MS clinic. She did all the usual stuff ... testing my balance, coordination, etc. My MRI results came back & there was not enough lesions to make the diagnosis so she sent me for a second MRI this time of my spine. I was also scheduled for a spinal tap. Finally in February 2007 I got the news ... I did have MS.
What a shock & blow ... I was way too young to receive this life altering news. Could I ever get my health back? Would I continue on the downward spiral that I seemed to be on??? My Neurologist wanted me to start meds right away. I had watched my friend in University on MS meds & the side affects were so bad that I just couldn't see myself living my life like that. Obviously I wanted to make the best choice for my health, but what was it? Everyone & their dog had a cure for me & advice on what I "HAD" to do for myself. The information and advice was overwhelming and confusing. I felt numb to what was happening to me & just wanted to escape the reality which I now seemed to be living in. I stayed in that place for some time ... not doing anything really & not making a decision regarding what I would do to take care of my health.
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